Day 6: Oh, the lame things people say!!

I run across several people every day. Mostly nice! A few go the extra mile to be friendly. Some are just plain STRANGE. There's no getting around it! It's funny to me, because people tend to automatically assume that there's something wrong with my brain, just because I walk weird. But, in looking at myself, I have to wonder if "idiot magnet" is tattooed to my forehead, and I just don't see it! I've come across some VERY STRANGE people in my day!
Here are a few examples...

I pulled into a parking stall one day, and a woman came charging up to the car like a raging bull!

Lady: You can't park here!
Me: Excuse me?
Lady: This is for handicapped parking!
Me: (HUH? I didn't know what to say, so I just gave her a funny look, popped the trunk with the little button on my door, opened my door, and proceeded to the back of the car where my wheelchair was currently in the trunk.
APPARENTLY, I walk funny enough that she was able to figure out that I truly WAS handicapped and had every right to park there. She then proceeded to apologize profusely. The lesson? If you question my authenticity, I guess just check my license plates? They have little wheelchairs on them, too! LOL

Another time -
I'm at Walmart in my wheelchair. My newborn is strapped to me in one of those baby carrier things, so I can have my hands free to push myself around. A woman stopped me.

Lady: Oh, your baby is SOOOOO beautiful! (Which was strange, in and of itself, because she could only see the top of the baby's head! She then proceeded to call her adult daughter from two rows over to gush over my baby. Now, admittedly, my kids ARE extraordinarily beautiful, if I do say so, myself. But THIS was odd, in my book.)
Me: Thank you! Very sweet of you.
Lady: How in the WORLD did you DO that??
Me: Um...Just like everyone else, I guess? (Thinking...Are you serious?! Honey, if you don't know HOW, I'm certain I can't help you! LOL)
Lady: Well, she is just GORGEOUS!
Me: Thanks! (ya fruitcake! LOL)
Ok, I know there was a compliment in there, but that whole situation was just FUNNY to me!! WOW!

Another time:
Parking my car again. Got out, locked up, and started walking into the store. A guy came running up behind me, yelling at me! It actually kinda scared me, because he ran up from behind and was instantly in my face! He was VERY serious, not joking one bit!!

Man: You can't park there! (Why, why, WHY are people so freaked out about where I PARK? LOL)
Me: Why not?
Man: Because you're not crippled enough!
Me: Excuse me?
Man: You're not CRIPPLED enough! Your @$$ is kinda hot, and crippled people don't have hot @$$es!
Me: (Thinking...ARE...YOU...SERIOUS?? How the HECK am I supposed to respond to THAT?) Well, umm...I'm sorry! I guess you'll have to take that one up with the DMV!

Some people's children, I'm tellin' ya! LOL

Yet ANOTHER time:
I'm at the store again. A woman about my same age (maybe a little older?) comes up to me:

LADY: OMG! Do you have POLIO or something?
ME: No, I'm only 35 - I've had that shot.
LADY: OMG! You were SHOT?? (HUH? LOL)
ME: Um...Actually, yes! I was in the Mafia, and I got shot and am now in hiding. Shh Don't tell!
LADY: OMG! That's AMAZING!

....No, what's AMAZING is that I actually have these IDIOTIC conversations with people! LOL I should write a BOOK about it!!

People! Seriously! If you don't know what to say around a handicapped person, if you're nervous in the LEAST bit and get all tongue-tied...I PROMISE, it's OK to remain silent! But, if you open your mouth around me, and proceed to make a fool of yourself, you'll most likely end up starring in my blog for all the world to laugh at right along with me! :-D Wow! Makes me want to do all my shopping online - but I guess, then I would miss out on all this free entertainment, right? Can't have THAT!